The Large Man Chronicles

The Large Man Chronicles

12-7-2009

The Things I Love

I love beer. I can drink Bud Light, but a well crafted micro-brew is my favorite. Right now, today, my favorite is Dogfish Head 90 minute IPA; they are based in Lewes DE. This favorite can and will change. Honorable mentions are Boulevard Pale Ale from KC MO, Fat Tire from Fort Collins CO, and practically speaking, Sam Adams never disappoints. I could go on forever when it comes to beer. 

I love the way a flannel shirt feels against my chest and shoulders, but I hate the way I look in them. I want to call this a paradox, but I’m not sure that would be correct.

I love the way my daughter says “Daddy” when she is getting ready to ask me a question. The single word tails up like a question in itself. The second syllable goes higher…dad-DEE. Hard to explain in writing, but it melts my heart. I think it’s a natural protection thing too, it keeps me from going ballistic with my reply to the unreasonable question that is about to be asked. Because of the way she says “Daddy”, I never reply with “NO! YOU CAN’T HAVE AN F-ING CELL PHONE! YOU’RE 10!

I love iTunes, Pandora radio, automatic garage door openers, a cooler full of ice, guitars, LL Bean, automatic paper towel dispensers , Bill’s Khakis, button down oxfords, my laptop, Merrill shoes, cotton or wool sweaters from Brooks Brothers, cargo shorts, and long sleeve t-shirts. The only thing about my job that I don’t like is wearing long pants. I think it’s a paradox that I like long sleeve shirts, but hate wearing long pants.

I love to laugh. I am so lucky that I been surrounded by funny people most of my life. My wife can crack you up at any moment. I have a childhood friend that may be the funniest person on earth. I work with a guy whose dry and subtle wit is nothing short of genius.  I’m surrounded by neighbors that consistently have beer exploding through my nasal passages. The funny people I know are one of my life’s greatest treasures.

I love the surprise that comes with each rental car experience when I travel. I drive a different car a couple of times a month. They almost always suck, and yet I’m always hopeful that this time I’m going to get something really cool. I got a Jaguar once, and I guess the coolness of that experience has kept me optimistic.

I love the fact that my wife never gets jealous. I’m a flirtatious dude, and I like the company of ladies. In 16 years with this woman she has been upset about that only one time…and it wasn’t when she caught me in the shower with a stripper. She realized that it was a bachelor party situation, and mostly she was just proud of me for winning the contest that got me into the shower. (I think the fact that I was wearing my boxers may have contributed to her liberal position regarding the incident) She never bitches at me either. Never. I should sit and talk to her about how great she is at the important things, like not bitching at me.

I love my job. The worst day at my job is better than most people’s best day at their job. The only thing about my job that I don’t like is wearing long pants (a point worth repeating).

I love the fact that my father has turned into one of the kindest hearted humans I know. He was the hardest hearted human I knew as a child. I’m not seeing him differently either; he has changed. I don’t know what changed him, but it is a nice thing to see.

I love tacos, pizza with pepperoni, Buffalo wings, a well grilled hunk of salmon, a fresh salad with good homemade ranch or bleu cheese dressing, a Coke with crushed ice and no straw, and olives. I will have to teach myself to like oatmeal and carrot sticks.

I love the books of Christopher Moore, Robert Parker, Carl Hiaasen, Tim Dorsey, John Sandford, Larry McMurtry, John Grisham (early stuff) and any story with cool characters. Atticus Finch is my favorite character from any novel; with Serge Storms coming in second…I’m almost positive that’s a paradox.

I love the Gino Vannelli song I Just Wanna Stop. It may be one of the most lame ass tunes of all time, but I danced with Misty Kepano and Karen Stoutamyer to that song (different occasions) and I remember every second for some reason. I smell their perfume, I feel their arms around me, that great memory hits me every time I hear the song.  I have an affinity for lame ass tunes of the seventies and eighties because of shit just like that. I think this admission could cost me some friends and some credibility…Chevy Van, Undercover Angel, This Time I’m in it for Love, Alone Again (Naturally), 65 Love Affair, Karma Chameleon, Crazy (Icehouse, not Patsy Cline)… I could go on about lame ass music longer than I can go on about beer. There is a girl or an event that I can identify with every song. This portion is a little embarrassing, I hope you all appreciate the courage it takes for a guy to admit he loves a Gino Vannelli song. If you knew Karen or Misty…or better still, if you could see them, you would probably give me a pass.

I love to hear my son laugh. The first time he watched the 3 Stooges he laughed so hard and hearty it made me cry. His laughter is the definition of joy. When I was a young man and I thought about what it might be like to have a son, I dreamed about this boy.

I love when underdogs win, in sports, in court, and in life. I love how they make it seem like anything is possible. At the same time, I love to see winners persevere. I have so much respect for teams, individuals, and companies that set a standard for excellence, and then maintain that standard. Paradox?

I love the word paradox, but I fear that I’m confusing it with conflict and/or contradiction.

I love when you can see the white lace of a bra or kami under a white blouse. I love it even more when someone else is wearing it. 

I love inappropriate language. Stupid as it is, I could never go a day without using the f word. I really love it when pretty women do too. However, I can’t stand to hear foul language from young people. How do I justify that?

I love the smell and the sound of rain when it first starts to fall.

I love when something moves me to the point of tears. When a movie, a book, or a moment can take me to that place, I always feel embarrassed at first, but then lucky afterwards. I’m grateful that I’m wired to feel things so deeply. Laughing and crying at the same time is the absolute best, like the climax moment in Steel Magnolias, or in Major League.

I love Clint Eastwood. Actor, writer, director, I don’t care. Everything he does is great.

I love saying that situations are “just like The Gift of the Magi” (the short story by O. Henry) even though they are nothing like The Gift of the Magi. I say it to be humorous, and I have no idea why I think it’s funny.

I love courage. I love honor. I don’t have a whole bunch of either, but that admiration does give me something to reach for. I also love the flaws that come with being human. I think I’m extremely lucky that I love flaws; otherwise you would be reading words from the most self-loathing person you could ever know – I am far from that.

I love the subtle smell of perfume…the subtle smell. However, when it enters the room before the person does, and stays behind after they leave, it just smells cheap – no matter how good it is. It’s odd; too much expensive perfume smells cheap. THAT’S a paradox!

I love the fact that someone would take the time to read this, so thank you.

The Large Man