The Large Man Chronicles

   I promised myself I would stop writing all this sappy, life affirming, everything means something more, kind of stuff. The Large Man Chronicles are supposed to be funny, crude, and completely off-color. I don’t know how we got here.  But since we’re already here, I might as well talk about Father’s Day. It’s a reflective day for me. I may celebrate it a little bit differently. Traditionalists would say that it should be a day that’s all about Dad, so he gets to do something just for himself. That’s fine, if that is your wont. I like it to be more about being a Dad, but my circumstances are different.  A few of my friends are out playing golf. Another dude I know is getting a mani-pedi, and then a massage (yeah…I know…he’s not a good friend, more like just someone I know). Other guys are canoeing, fishing, hunting, trapping, skinning something, or drinking. I like all these things too. There are few things more rewarding than getting a 6 beer buzz on and then killing something and preparing it for a feast. If you can do these things on a golf course – THEN go directly to a Daddy Day Spa and get a mani-pedi and a massage, it’s absolutely Utopian.  As I said, I like that stuff too, but mostly, I just like being a Dad.  I made a career choice that keeps me away from Dad activities the majority of my time. I wonder about this choice every day. Luckily I work for a company that values family, and they don’t just say it…they really mean it. The details of my job are not important; frankly they would bore the shit out of you. I’ll simply tell you that the things I need to do for my job need to mostly be done somewhere other than where I live. But when I’ve had enough of being somewhere other than where I live, or if my family has had enough, all I have to say is, “Enough.” Then it’s break time. I have pretty much always done this kind of work, and I enjoy it…but I’ve never before worked for a company that understood, “Enough”. I’m fortunate.  I’m also fortunate to have a wife that’s strong enough to play the Mom and the Dad role 4 or 5 days a week. She can clean a garage, weed and mulch a flower bed, prepare 3 meals at a time (that’s right – not 3 meals a day, 3 meals at a time! I’ll tell that tale later), pay bills, fix lamps, keep a monster Black Lab entertained, mow the lawn, shop, taxi kids to every kind of event, keep her Facebook page updated… all in an environment that is healthy, happy, and safe. In fact, the environment is friggin joyous. I’m not just saying these things to get some luvin tonight (although…) I say these things because they are true. Furthermore, even though I’ve never seen her do it, I’m quite sure she can fish, hunt, trap, and skin things too. Again… fortunate.  It will be a long time before I’ll know what the toll is for my time away. What is the price? I think we’re doing OK, but I don’t know. I know my kids get good grades, we live in a nice, safe neighborhood, (our neighbors are off the reservation insane, but they’re safe) we love everything about living here.  Good neighborhoods come with a price. A healthy, happy home comes with a price. But, a nice house in a nice neighborhood with good neighbors doesn’t determine whether or not you are a good father. There’s a big difference in being a good provider, and being a good father…that much I do know.  Maybe I’ll never know how I’m doing, or how we’re doing.  Am I a good Dad? Who knows? There’s lots of growing left to do around here, (for all of us) before we know the answer to that question.  Right now, my kids know I love them. I kill spiders for them, I make them laugh, and I scold them every now and then. They know I love them because I tell them every day, and I tell them why. They’re good with that, for now.  So I had no need to play golf today, or kill anything…OK, maybe a spider or two. I celebrated Father’s Day by cleaning my pool.  I made breakfast for everybody this morning, and all four of us saw Toy Story III this afternoon. I grilled our dinner this evening, and messed around in the garage. Most of the day there was 1 kid or both by my side. I was only a Dad today. Not a good one, not a bad one, just a Dad that was there. That’s a perfect day.  Thanks for reading.  The Large Man